Introduction: Are We Really Free?
As we grow older and become adults, society tells us we are finally “free.” No more needing permission to go to a friend’s house or ask when to eat or what to wear. As teens, our lives are often monitored and controlled by our parents for our own good. After all, a child or teen’s brain is still developing, and they may not always make the best decisions. But once we become adults, the assumption is that we are now capable of thinking for ourselves and making independent decisions. So does adulthood automatically equal true freedom? And what makes a person truly free?
The answer is more complex. Living on your own and taking responsibility for yourself may be a consequence of being free, but it doesn’t define freedom. True freedom means being free from all forms of control and judgment—not just from guardians or parents, but also from societal expectations, fear of judgment, and internal insecurities. So let’s explore what makes a person to be truly free.
Freedom in Society: A Mirage?
Many of us aren’t as free as we believe. Sure, we can technically say what we want, follow any religion, or wear any clothes we like. But how often do we censor ourselves out of fear of judgment or consequences?
Can you speak your mind on social media without facing backlash?
Can you wear what you truly want, regardless of gender norms?
Can you choose an unconventional career path without being judged?
In many societies, the answer is no. A woman may want to wear a revealing dress but refrains because it could be unsafe. A man may want to wear something feminine but avoids it due to social ridicule. These are real restrictions that limit personal freedom, even in so-called “free” societies.
In highly religious or conservative cultures, freedom is even more of a myth. Conformity to social and religious norms often overrides personal choice. People are expected to live a certain way, marry a certain kind of person, and suppress parts of themselves to fit in.
The Paradox of Unlimited Freedom
But advocating for absolute freedom also has consequences. If everyone had complete freedom to do and say anything, what would stop people from spreading hate or committing crimes?
This is where responsible freedom comes in. The idea is simple: “You are free to do whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t harm others.”
For example:
Freedom of speech should not include the right to incite violence or spread hate.
Freedom of action should not include harming others or violating their rights.
True freedom must be balanced with responsibility and empathy. Otherwise, it turns into chaos, not liberation.
Philosophical Perspectives on Freedom
1. Existentialism: Condemned to Be Free
Jean-Paul Sartre, a famous French philosopher, believed that we are “condemned to be free.” At first, this sounds negative, but his point was profound: we always have a choice. Even when we think we don’t.
You choose to stay in a job you dislike because the alternative seems worse.
You choose to live a certain way because it feels safer than risking change.
This kind of radical freedom is scary. It means you can’t blame society, your parents, or your past. You are fully responsible for your choices. That’s a heavy truth—but it’s also a step to understanding what makes a person truly free.
2. Stoicism: Inner Freedom Matters More
Stoic philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius taught that real freedom doesn’t come from changing the world but from mastering your mind.
You can’t control what happens outside—traffic, rude people, tragedies. But you can control your reaction.
If someone insults you, you can stay calm.
If plans fall apart, you can choose peace over panic.
This internal control leads to true freedom. You’re not a puppet of emotions or circumstances anymore.
3. Buddhism: Freedom from Attachment
Buddhism teaches that suffering comes from attachment—to desires, ego, outcomes.
You want success and fear failure.
You crave validation and fear rejection.
This attachment creates mental slavery. When you stop clinging, you start living.
Nirvana, the ultimate goal in Buddhism, is a state of complete liberation from suffering and ego. That’s the ultimate form of inner freedom.
Steps Toward True Freedom
You don’t need to become a monk or philosopher to be truly free. You can take small steps in everyday life:
Choose your own career path. Don’t let your parents or society dictate your future. It might sound harsh, but as long as you keep giving others control, you won’t be free.
Take responsibility for your choices. Show that you can be independent. Prove to yourself and others that you can survive and thrive on your own.
Stop worrying about judgment. If someone mocks your outfit, your dreams, or your beliefs—that’s their problem, not yours.
If you want to be a writer, and that’s what lights you up, go for it. Even if no one supports you. Your life should reflect your values, not others’ expectations.
Especially for women and gender-nonconforming people, freedom often includes reclaiming control over your own body and choices. Wear what makes you happy. Use safety tools like pepper spray if needed, but don’t shrink yourself to fit others’ standards.
Contentment and Freedom Go Hand in Hand
True freedom won’t always make you happy. But it gives you the chance to build happiness on your own terms.
You stop comparing. You stop chasing validation. You start appreciating small things: a quiet evening, a song, a walk under the stars. That’s when life feels truly yours.
Even if your job is boring or your life isn’t where you want it to be, if you’re taking steps toward your dreams, there is meaning. And meaning brings a kind of joy.
Final Thought: Freedom Begins in the Mind
Freedom is not something others give you. It’s something you claim and protect.
Ask yourself:
Are you living your truth?
Are you making your own choices?
What are you still afraid to let go of?
Freedom begins when you stop pretending. When you stop pleasing. When you start living authentically.
Because true freedom is not the absence of limitations.
It’s the presence of courage. And that’s what makes a person truly free.
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